unimpressed2chainz:

idk why ppl act like funny women are a rare precious commodity when every woman i know is a got damn comedian and i’ve met maybe two intentionally funny men in my lifetime 

(via dylanohotin)

coelasquid:

In case you wondered what news anchors do during commercial breaks.

(via therealraewest)

windwolf0097:

dirtylittledamsel:

this is more dramatic than a Lana Del Rey music video

windwolf0097:

dirtylittledamsel:

this is more dramatic than a Lana Del Rey music video

(via picnicpanick)

axonmanage:

faragonart:

"…..Well…. toothless and I got her out of a tree…."

"Who put her there?"

"Uhhhh….. haha…well… crazy thing is… I’m… actually… the one…. who… put her there…."

"….."

-How a talking Fishbone managed to get the girl of his dreams.

PERFECTION

OH MY GODS I SCREAMED WITH LAUGHTER

(via avannak)

agentwoshington:

agentwoshington:

ok but there was a bus filled with potatoes driving around my town today

image

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(via cassondrabookxv)

meladoodle:

important pictures of me in the background of photos

Anonymous Asked:
OK but hear me out. Imagine the series progressing exactly the same way except for Lily and James surviving somehow and raising Harry. So in AU HBP, Harry tells Snape "there's no need to call me sir, professor" and Snape makes McGonagall send an irate letter home. The next day Lily sends a Howler and she is screaming "THAT'S MY BOY. I KNOW I RAISED YOU RIGHT. YOU TELL SNIV-SNIV, HARRY. HERE'S A BOX OF TREACLE TART. DAD AND I ARE PROUD OF YOU. UNCLE PADFOOT IS SOBBING. I SWEAR, THAT MAN." and

transfigurationprodigy:

transfigurationprodigy:

omg.

So let me tell you how this goes down in my head. Lily and James get the letter (which is less irate than Snape had hoped for) and find the whole situation hilarious—I mean, they’ll probably tell Harry not to be as sassy to professors in the future (probably)—but still, on the whole, hilarious.

Needless to say, it’s the proudest moment of Sirius’ life to date.

But they play it cool, as they are not above making Harry sweat for a bit. They say nothing about the incident. No howler, no mention in the weekly letter from home, nothing. Harry starts to wonder if he’s really in trouble. Maybe they’re just waiting until he get home for the Christmas hols to really lay into him. Crap.

Then it’s time for Quidditch, and Lily, James, and Sirius show up to watch and cheer and basically act like crazy Quidditch-parents. Snape is observing them with his typical sneer until James and Sirius ditch their jackets to reveal matching “There’s no need to call me sir, professor,” t-shirts. They’re rad and color changing and glowing and basically impossible to miss. (That Lily sure is swell at charms.)

And they brought one for Harry.

And McGonagall is already wearing one under her robes.

image

I may have to start printing these t-shirts.